I’m very unhappy, feeling evil. My thoughts are not well at all. I want to lie on the roadway of life and be run down, don’t deserve nor want to live another day at all. Resentment is one of the worst feelings a person can feel towards another. It’s usually ego based. An injured ego needs to find another to blame, which isn’t difficult to do, and then resentment easily builds. Yet, I find it to be like acid, eating away at the walls of my heart. Burning it’s way into my soul until I feel like an empty carcass, sun bleached and dried. I remember lessons from AA about writing down our resentments and revisiting them as to how we could address them better. Most of the time I realized my resentments were trivial. Someone pointed out to me that the resentment wasn’t trivial but I had changed. I no longer viewed it as being so important, I no longer cared. What they didn’t realize about me was, yes I had changed and it was no longer important, but that I had stopped caring because I had given up the fight. I was tired of fighting. I was surrounded by slobs and I was tired of trying to dig out a small niche of cleanliness. Now, I was sick and tired and just didn’t care anymore. Drive over me with a duckboat, I am sick of fighting for my sanity. NO ONE CARES! Life will continue, with or without you. Clean or in a big mess, who cares, only you. What a big stupid illusion life is.