I’m not sure if I like reality the way it is or if I like my psychotic states better. Psychotic states can be better is so many ways, such as really not caring to the very core what others are thinking or feeling in their little peanut brains, the soundtrack playing in my head (this can be a positive or a negative), seeing things more clearly and actually understanding society, and more. However, there are negatives also, such as: amnesia, the soundtrack playing in my head, and frustration with society. Sorry, I forgot what I was saying…anyway, it’s so beautiful outside today. I think I’ll smoke a bit and analyze the meaning of life as it appears before me in a cumulus cloud. I’ve really missed the warmer weather, my aging reptilian blood suffered this springtime seeing as it was so cold. Bring on the heat and humidity, it doesn’t bother me. I’ll sit and watch the dragonflies and they’ll watch me. Dragonflies are communicators, spiritual communicators with the worlds beyond. If you are capable of reception you can hear their messages. All you really need to be is quiet on the inside and be aware of details. Instead of rushing on through without time for anything, slow down and appreciate the minute details of where you are. Easier to do on a nice day….there are some gray clouds in the distance but I don’t care. Lightning storms don’t bother me the way they used to. I used to panic pretty badly when a storm was happening but since I take Buspar, nothing bothers me short of a tornado. There’s also the amount of caring that one has regarding their own sense of well-being too….lately, I could just give a shit. I don’t mean that in a depressed kind of way, but in a ‘I’m tired, this has been my 347th life and I’m sick of playing out this scenario’ kind of way. Have a good one.