What is this Thing Called Bliss?

What do you see when you think of your bliss? When I first read this I could think of nothing. My depression weighing me down, holding my thoughts behind the fogged and smeared glass of my mind. I tried to see out to something clearer when I remembered something that happened this past weekend. It was something that made me realize how close I could have come to losing everything I have, my home and family, and how easily that could have been.
My younger daughter was cooking and splattered some oil into the fire which caused the fire to rear into a huge fireball. The whole scenery frightened her greatly and she was going to spray water on to it when I stopped her. Luckily she had turned the flame off and the fire burned out. My daughter has long hair and always has some item of clothing hanging off of her though I tell her repeatedly not to cook with anything near a flame. She also cooks on a high flame, acts as if she is always in a hurry, and turns a deaf ear to all my teachings about safety. This time she saw and felt the effects of her actions. Fear can be a greater teacher than words unfortunately. Luckily for her she didn’t burn herself, just scared herself.
But it made me realize if it had been a worse case scenario and there had been a fire just how difficult it would have been to get everyone out of my house. My father is disabled with dementia and I can’t get his wheelchair through the door at all. I would have to drag him on a blanket, if I could move him at all. It’s not a nice thought to entertain.
So, when I think of bliss I think of what could I lose. I think of my daughters. True, they’ve driven me crazy through the years but it could be reciprocal and I think of my siblings and father. Depression makes me think they wouldn’t miss me but I know that’s not true. I care for my father and keep the household functioning (though some days I wonder how I manage this). I’ve lost my husband but I have his memories. The sadness I feel can’t take away my family or memories. My bliss is all of this.

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4 thoughts on “What is this Thing Called Bliss?

  1. unfetteredbs says:

    sending my thoughts Dorothy.

  2. NZ Cate says:

    I have just awarded you the One Lovely Blog Award. Check it out on my link http://infinitesadnessorhope.wordpress.com/2012/12/19/belated-acknowledgments-and-thanks/ CONGRATULATIONS!!! Cate

  3. It’s strange how some things make you realise what you have, even if the depths of depression. I hope things improve for you xx

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