Yesterday daughter #2 came home to get some of her things. Thank fully we were on speaking terms and I took the chance to extend an olive branch in her direction. I apologized for putting my hands on her and apologized for being so angry. I felt it was the right thing for me to do seeing as I am older than her. I told her the door was open to her and she would be welcome here if she could live within those rules of being quiet after her grandfather went to sleep and being respectful to him. I explained that I didn’t feel I was asking much. She told me she didn’t want what happened to ever happen again and since she was 19 and capable of leaving she thought it was in her best interest to leave. She was looking for a job and would leave school if the need arose. I questioned her on that but she was steadfast in her answer. I am backing off and just letting life happen now. I don’t feel too badly because I have let her know we will take her back but she feels it’s important to do this and I can respect that. How else will she ever learn otherwise. So, I am in a strange place right now. I feel happy but sad too. I try not to think at all. She will return on Sunday she said to do some school work, so the cord hasn’t been totally broken. Today certainly was quiet and I didn’t have a pile of dishes to wash. I even tried to do some exercise of which lasted all of 15 minutes before my knees committed a coup. I got to read some more of the Joseph Anton (the Salman Rushdie Memoir) also. My biggest hurdle I need to cross is caring for myself. I neglect myself considerably. I need to exercise and eat less. I think the depression would lift if I would help myself more. Where’s my whipping stick? I need to beat myself.
So, I am up to Day 4 of the 30 Day Facial Expression Challenge which is PISSED OFF FACE….this is the best I can do without laughing.