Nothing to Say

 

 

 

I came home to find you sitting in the corner.
You didn’t say a word to me.
Had I done something wrong for the silence to greet me.
The rain fell like tiny crystals all about. It fell outside the window and outside my heart. Yet the coldness had not invaded my soul.  I wondered how much more I could stand of this loneliness that you brought me.
Not speaking, no laughing, nothing to say that I mattered. Maybe I didn’t matter. Maybe none of this mattered. Was any of it real. Am I fooling myself to believe that it’s real. Am I even awake?  What if I’ve been sleeping the whole time and it’s not even happened? What will I find when I awaken? WHO ARE YOU? Does any of it even matter? Will I ever know if it is real or an illusion? When all about seems like it is failing I can fall into an abyss and wake up on the other side, a side that is filled with everything that is right. A side with No Mental Illness, no illness at all. Maybe I will be not so transparent to the world and people will see me. My words will be meaningful. Their contents not so translucent. Will a time exist when we are important? We’re important because we love. We love more than others and are not so judgemental. We care because we recognize ourselves in all that is good and so we can go on, as ONE.

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2 thoughts on “Nothing to Say

  1. unfetteredbs says:

    your words are always meaningful..and everyone is important..

  2. crb46 says:

    I am sorry that you are having this running through your mind. Just know that people see that you are a wonderful caring person. I know that doesn’t stop the loneliness. I know you have had to put out way more than a woman should have to. You have had to do all the caring it seems. But we are not yet that old, lol, we may have someone come along in our liives to do the caring for us for a change. (((hugs))) my dear friend!

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