An update on my magical mystery tour through the pharmacological world of my brain on drugs. I started taking Risperidone on the 14th of June and I’m amazed that two weeks have passed already. Where the hell did they go? My dosage began at 0.5 mg and now stands at 1.5mg. The increase warranted because of insomnia and mania. I find it interesting because when I began taking it I started getting insomnia and then the mania set in. Mania tends to follow disrupted sleep so they do go hand in hand but the doctor increased the dosage anyway. Secretly I laughed at this because I enjoy being manic so I whole heartedly agreed on the increase.
Risperidone is not a bad drug for me. The biggest pro is that the negative chatter that I would experience on a nightly basis is gone. I suppose if I went to bed at an earlier hour like I used to do then it might be waiting there for me but I’m not worried about that. I go to bed at a later hour now and when I do I’m so exhausted that I fall into a deep sleep and don’t awaken unless someone wakes me up. I still can hear my Dad who sleeps in the other bed right across from me and I’m able to wake up to go to the toilet. Thank goodness I haven’t needed the Depends yet, thank you!!
The two biggest cons are: feeling like a zombie in the day and showing some signs of anxiety. The zombies that have invaded my head may soon depart and I look forward to that. They are not that bad, just the type that make you feel like you’re tiptoeing through the tulips. When faced with talking to other people (meaning the public) it can be interesting. When I went to see my therapist on Wednesday I mixed her name up and said it backwards and it took me a few seconds to realize I had done it. At least I didn’t care, that’s a first.
So, I am being very careful driving and not going very far. I’ll go to my local market and I’m just staying around home. I do feel like getting out again though which makes me hopeful. Maybe in another week or two I will be safer to drive regularly and then I can get some new photos and venture out farther in my car again. Maybe I’ll just take the train and go into town. I haven’t been anywhere in a long time because of my severe depression and I deserve the break from caring for my Dad. My older daughter is going to San Francisco on July 15 and my younger daughter is going to Puerto Rico so I should be able to get one night away, even to the beach. I just hate to leave my dog and worry about what happens at home. I have to learn to let go of the responsibilities. Do it for my own sake!
So, I am hopeful and will continue to stay on this regiment. I am glad to report that I haven’t had depression in over ten days. I’m looking forward to continuing the count too.