I feel like staying awake all night tonight but sleep is my only friend.
I don’t know why I want to torture myself because when I’m awake my mind won’t shut up.
Maybe I’m trying to hurt myself.
My sister thinks that. She thinks I feel guilty about being alive.
I agree with her. Everyone else died but me.
Why am I alive?
I’ll tell you about my husband.
He was older than me but was the nicest guy.
A hard worker and friendly and a good father.
Never asked me about what I spent money on or where I was going.
Tolerated my illness when it was really, really bad.
Tolerated me when I was a very bad alcoholic and smoked cigarettes.
He did change as he got older and his sense of humor went away a bit.
He wasn’t perfect…..he was human…LOL.
A really good man who deserved so much more than just hard work.
He deserved to see his kids grow up.
He deserved to retire and not have to get up every morning at 1:00 to go to work.
I guess God wanted him back. The good die young they say.
My Dad is almost 95…LOL. I’ll never understand it but I am so tired and hurt.
I’m sorry to those that read this and think this is all I talk about.
I’ll shut up now.