As the Silence Sweeps Across my Mind

….it gets interrupted by the sound of the garbage truck and the men throwing the barrels onto the ground. I enjoy the morning when there is no noise coming from the next room. My father is still sleeping because he had a very bad night. He was awake most of the night whispering about someone named Tom but I couldn’t make out what it was all about. Whenever he doesn’t sleep then I don’t sleep and I really needed to sleep last night.

All this week I’ve had a migraine headache which I think I caused by selfishly sitting in the sun on Monday. Anyone that is loaded up on meds knows that the sunlight can cause eye problems and I knew I should have turned the chair but I was lazy and the sun felt warm and beat me with a stick for wanting to enjoy something. So, I paid for my lazying around in a chair in the sun for 30 minutes.

Last night I listened to my father’s whispering throughout the night…you know, it’s creepy listening to an old man whisper in the night. I really felt like I was going out of my mind too. I hid under the blankets. I took a warm heat pack and buried my face in and tried to cover my ears. I would have put on my headphones with some music but my daughter took those because she blew hers out. And, yes, I drank a couple of shots of vodka to relax which did work but then I could only feel my heart beating erractically trying to tell me that it was going to stop in the middle of the night if I kept up the drinking and pill popping.

This went on until 5:30am when my father finally asked me to get the metal out of his head. I went over to look at him and he had wedged his head against the bars of the hospital bed. So, I rearranged the pillows and his head and tucked him in again and told him to have a nice sleep, that it was early. FINALLY, he went to sleep. Now it is 10:00am and he is still asleep but I got up at 8:00 to give my dog his medications because I love him so much. I hope he sleeps as long as he wants today because when you get to be 94 and demented what else is there? I can always take a nap and take more pills for the headache I am getting again.

A day of happiness for all, or at least one of stability. I think I should pour my vodka down the sink.



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