Drunk

So, since I am on medication I am not supposed to drink but I am. I don’t always nor have I drank for a long time. Not that I need to justify myself to anyone. I’m sick of that. Always having to say I’m doing this or that for some reason. I drink because I like to feel drunk. Admit it, you do it for that reason to. All people get high on their substances for that reason. It’s not because they like to feel relaxed or they like to sleep or some other BS it’s because they like to feel high. My doctor said it adds to my depression. excuse me, I started drinking again because I felt depressed and I was sick of living and I wanted to escape and fuck this world anyway. I’m tired of life and I’m tired of the day-to-day shit. I don’t sleep anymore and I want to escape from all of this. Even in the middle of the day when I look at something like my back yard fence I see it, but it doesn’t look real, it looks like a dream land. So, what difference does anything matter anymore, real? fantasy? WHAT THE FUCK IS IT???????? I DON’T KNOW ANYMORE!! Pills!!! Take more Q!!!!! take more…until they screw you so much you don’t know whether you’re alive or dead or breathing or not…. what does it matter anyway, you don’t even know if you’re real or not…..Here…Have another VODKA ND KAHLUA and feel NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!    fall on the floor and sink into it, feel the coldness on your back………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

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3 thoughts on “Drunk

  1. carlarenee45 says:

    I hope you are gonna be alright

    • Dorothy says:

      thanks…I don’t know what will happen. I’ve been through so many years of this but I feel like I have no fight left. Maybe I am just tired. When my husband died I just lost so much of my world and it’s hard to be optimistic about the future.

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